tweezing the bloodsuckers

for most of my life, i called anybody and everybody i met a “friend.”  if you were in my class, you were a friend.  if you were in a show with me, you were a friend.  if i knew your name, you were a friend.  people would always comment on how many friends i had and honestly, popularity was a source of pride.

after awhile, i started noticing incredible disparities in some of my friendships where the balance of who gave and who took never arrived at an equilibrium.  well, let me rephrase that: i noticed at a young age that some friends just sucked the life out of me, but it wasn’t until i was older, more confident, and more self-assured that i actually cared enough about myself to come to terms with the fact that real friends would never treat me disrespectfully, whether through words or actions.

yes, i had cultivated a batch of bloodsuckers and fed their neediness with my own blood, sweat, and tears.  while it was easy to weed out the casual acquaintances with whom i shared the occasional awkward conversation, it wasn’t as easy to deal with these emotional leeches.  i wasn’t ready to because i thought that they were MY lifeline — not the other way around.

i’m fortunate.  i am so spoiled by love now from mgs and my close friends and family that i know when a friendship just doesn’t feel right.  i have less of a problem distancing myself or relegating bloodsuckers to “acquaintance” status (if that).  the biggest change though is that i think bloodsuckers sense that i’m less likely to take their bullshit and they’ll back away.  or maybe it’s my B.O.

either way, i’m so grateful for the friends in my life who value me as much as i value them.  may i never take them for granted.