don’t cling onto anything that causes you too much stress… happy labor day!
and by the way, this is my DIRTY THIRTIETH post!
about funemployment
there are a few things that people who are considering funemployment should consider before resigning from their jobs. in no particular order (though perhaps subconsciously in the order of what i’m freaking out about the most):
1) plan your finances: you know how with gravity, everything that goes up, must come down? that’s not true with money: my finances continue to go up even AFTER resigning. oh wait, what? that’s NOT how that works? OH. OK. FML. if you’re seriously considering leaving your job, formulate a budget that’s as specific as can possibly be. not an oh-i-think-i-should-have-enough-to-last-me-five-months guestimation budget but a i-am-not-getting-that-candy-bar-cause-i-need-to-eat-dinner-tomorrow for realz budget (and that’s for realz with a “z” it’s so real).
2) do one thing at a time…: it’s so important to have a plan of action that leads to your resignation up until the year following. like my budget, i had a general idea of what i wanted to do, but not too many specifics. now i’m freaking out about what the next step is. planning will also relieve a lot of unnecessary stress. my last few weeks were pretty jam-packed and if i could do it over again, i’d avoid moving out and resigning at the same time. it took an unexpected emotional and physical toll trying to finish everything up at once. i wonder if that has anything to do with why i’ve been sleeping at 12 am and getting up at 12 pm lately? oh no — that’s just cause i can (points for funemployment!).
3) … but don’t waste time: i do feel bad for sleeping in late because as much as people tell me to enjoy my free time, there’s no such thing as FREE time. my time should be spent doing everything that i’ve wanted to do, but didn’t have time to do. for instance, that little goal i set three years ago to write a play? remember THAT willbur?!
4) chill out: ok – they call it funemployment for a reason. don’t freak out. do try to enjoy the things that folks stuck in their crappy cubicles behind cramped desks can’t enjoy doing. for instance, sunbathe in the san francisco “summer” sunshine; see movies at matinee prices; eat at ike’s while the line is short; take naps every five hours… etc.
5) be confident: if you’re generally a capable, hardworking, and intelligent person, you’ll know when you’ll need to get your nicely, toned, booty (thanks to dance classes and lunges) back to work-for-pay. i’ve been doubting my abilities A LOT lately and the market just seems ultra-scary now that i’m removed from the workforce. in those moments, i just close my eyes and remember all the incompetent people i’ve encountered in my lifetime holding down jobs – even supervisory and managerial positions – and all my doubts of never finding a job again vanish!
first day
woke up at 8:13 am. thought how nice that i don’t actually have to get up until … well, whenever. tried going back to bed. mind racing thinking about all the things that i left unfinished at the office (and … wait, did i even reassign the tasks to someone else?). spooned with mgs. stared at mgs. got restless, got out of bed, went to the back porch. watered the plants and brought the basil out for some sun. loaded the dishwasher. wiped down the counters. rearranged the kitchen appliances. made coffee. checked my voicemail. considered rearranging the bouquet of flowers on the kitchen table. figured out that the odd mass that my co-worker gave me for my last day is actually two slices of banana bread (though it looks more like mooncake). spooked by mgs staring at me in the kitchen doorway. took a sip of coffee. updating blog.
leaving the agency and brOakland feels like high school/college graduation. you know how you’ll stay in touch with people, but because of the physical separation, things will never be the same again. man oh man did i feel sad last night and that feeling is slowly creeping back. never take any moment for granted people — never!
remembering why
i guess in these upcoming days, my last at the agency, it’s important to remember what brought me here in the first place — and it’s a story i’ve shared via email when i first started that some of you may or may not have read.
i’m not sure how many of you know, but i come from a big family of nine brothers and cousins scattered all over the world. to make it a little easier to keep in touch with one another, we started an e-newsletter where we could send updates, birthday greetings, inappropriate jokes — or other news. these emails were usually pretty mundane until suddenly, one of our cousins started sending really offensive emails targeting some of our relatives. her behavior over email became increasingly erratic and grew so unbearable that some family members got into email fights with her or blocked her out completely.
it wasn’t until later that we were told that this cousin actually suffered from schizophrenia. now coming from a relatively liberal, asian american family, i thought we’d be pretty open about sharing news like this, but it just goes to show how stigmatized mental health is. i just imagine how lonely our cousin had felt and that if we had only known sooner or if the right resources were available to her, we could’ve helped her more rather than isolating her as we had done.
when i moved to california, i vowed to work for an organization that did meaningful work. i wasn’t necessarily looking for work in the mental health field, but the agency’s reputation preceded my search. a close friend told me how it played a crucial role in a mutual friend’s recovery and continuing treatment for bipolar disorder. it wasn’t until i started working for the agency, however, did i learn just how amazing its staff is and how each individual is truly dedicated and passionate about the work that s/he is doing.
i can’t praise the staff enough. each one of you comes in here – and we all know it’s not for the money or the recognition, but because each one of you truly believes in doing something to improve the health and lives of our community. i am so grateful to be surrounded by so many compassionate souls and it has been a true joy to work among you.
thank you — from the bottom of my heart.
– a less eloquent, though probably more concise version of my going-away speech from friday’s staff retreat. despite all the struggles, i’m going to miss the crap out of that place.
chicken burrito
chicken burrito, originally uploaded by willdao.
this is a recipe that mgs and i tried using an nytimes chicken negimaki recipe featured in this article: for moister chicken, tuck the flavor inside
i adapted it for indoors using an oven and improvised the stuffing (you can use anything that you think might go well with chicken). i also added a little side tomato salad that compliments the dish pretty nicely. very summery, satisfying and healthy!
serves 2 / cooking time: 45 minutes
ingredients for the chicken
2 chicken breasts
5 bunches of spinach
4 diced cloves of garlic
2 tablespoons mirin
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons jalapeno chutney (my brand is sukhi’s gourment indian food from the farmer’s market)
honey, to coat
salt and fresh ground pepper, to season
toothpicks or cooking twine
ingredients for the salad
1 teaspoon olive oil
2 handfuls of mixed cherry tomatoes
10 pearl onions
1 teaspoon chopped basil
2 slices of mozzarella cheese
salt and fresh ground pepper, to season
to cook the chicken:
1. preheat the oven to 400F.
2. blot the chicken breast dry and wrap loosely in saran wrap. using a kitchen hammer or a heavy pan, beat the chicken breast until it’s flat. salt and pepper the chicken on both sides. spread the chutney on one side of the chicken like you would tomato sauce on a pizza, leaving the edges clear of sauce.
2. heat the olive oil in a skillet and toss in all the garlic when hot. saute the spinach until slightly wilted and then pour in the mirin and soy sauce. add a dash of salt and pepper. remove from heat when you think the spinach is cooked.
3. spread the cooked spinach in the center of each flattened breast. then, carefully roll the chicken up like a cigar. use string or toothpicks to hold the chicken in a roll.
4. place in oven for 40 minutes or until cooked. make sure to baste after 20 minutes using the leftover sauce from sauteing the spinach. when it’s 5 minutes until done, coat the top of the chicken with honey.
5. when finished, cut in half, plate, and serve warm.
to cook the salad:
1. heat the olive oil in a skillet and toss in the tomatoes and onions. turn to medium heat and saute until tomatoes are slightly charred and onion is slightly browned. salt and pepper to taste
2. plate tomatoes and onions. toss mozzarella and basil on top.
my suggestions: the next time i try the chicken, i would probably brown the outside a bit on the stove top in a pan first and then put it in the oven. i’d also add tomatoes and cheese in the center.
Will Dao 