I’m sitting in the backyard, sun bouncing off my Macbook into my defenseless eyes. It’s all worth it because these warm San Francisco winters feel so good. Even on my cornea.
I’m unemployed. That’s why I’m sitting out in the sun in the middle of the day. I resigned from my day job in preparation for the big gig up North. Unemployment is both a blessing and a curse. I have no income right now and lots of bills coming up so I’ve been kicking my normally frugal self into another gear lately. I don’t even see brands these days. It’s all about cents. Literally “cents” — not “sense.” In fact, it makes no sense. I will probably choose a generic-proven-to-be-shitty-cancer-causing meat over organic-free-range-i’ve-lived-a-happy-life one because of the price difference, for instance. Or the I-know-you’ll-break-the-moment-I-unwrap-the-plastic-casing-that’s-holding-you-altogether product over the fuck-I’m-the-shit-and-will-last-you-a-lifetime-ANDICOMEWITHAWARRANTY product because the former is $.02 less.
Yeah, that’s where I’m at.
The good news is I’ve been taking a lot of “me time” lately. It’s strange though because everyone needs “me time,” but all my friends seem particularly keen on saying that I, Will, really need to take more of it. I don’t know what to make of that. Is that a nice way of saying, “Will – chill the fuck out you high-maintenance, nervous, freak!” or is it just something people say to other people because we live in California and you can never have enough “me time” in California?
I’m traveling soon. And a lot. I feel … is the word, guilty? — for using this time to travel, especially with the limited resources. But it was my mom of all people who encourages me to travel. She’s worked so hard all her life that one of her biggest regrets is not traveling more with my dad when he was still around. So, thank you mom for the blessing.
Traveling is a great way to spend “me time” though if the purpose of “me time” is to make me less anxious, then it is completely failing. I am fretting over the activities to do, places to see, money to be spent, body scans to go through, toiletries to be confiscated. Yes – these are first world problems to the nth degree. I am not complaining. I am just proving that I am incapable of relaxing, which is the what the whole concept of “me time” is about.
Now the sun has moved about a foot and half to my left and the temperature in the shade is about 5-degrees colder. I’m going to make some tea and continue pondering “me time” as I take some “me time.”
Will Dao 